We use our frontal lobe everyday - it's the part of our brain that controls important cognitive skills, such as emotional expression, problem solving, memory, language, judgment, and sexual behavior. In essence the frontal lobe is our “control panel” of our personality. This important part of the brain is responsible for the qualities that make us unique within the animal kingdom. Crucial for understanding trauma however, the frontal lobes are also the seat for empathy.....
When we are in sync with each other, we tend to pick up each other's mannerisms (the way we sit, stand, the rhythm of our voices etc). I'm sure you all know couples who have been together for a long time who start to blend! Mirror neurons explain why we are such relational beings - and why it is so important to surround ourselves with positive people, for these neurons also make us vulnerable to others' negativity. I'm sure you could write a list of people you feel good after seeing and people you feel drained after seeing....
We are highly attuned to subtle emotional shifts in the people around us; our mirror neurons register the inner experience of others and our own bodies then make internal adjustments to whatever we notice. This shows how we are so connected and raises the question of how much individuality we actually have (shouts of 'I'm an Individual from 'Life of Brian'!). At a deep level we barely exist as individual organisms. Our brains are built to help us function as members of a tribe. And as a result, most of our energy is devoted to connecting with others. One thing that is becoming clear in the field of research is that trauma invariably involves not being seen, not being mirrored, and not being taken into account. Almost all mental suffering involves either trouble in creating workable and satisfying relationships or difficulties in maintaining equilibrium. My sense is that is why therapies like craniosacral can have such profound shifts for people. It relies on interpersonal rhythms, visceral awareness, vocal and facial communication - all of which help to shift people out of fight/flight status, reorganise their perception of danger, and increase their capacity to manage relationships. It is the healing offered by deep listening. 'The roots of resilience...are to be found in the sense of being understood by and existing in the mind and heart of a loving, attuned and self-possessed other.' Diana Fosha Let the water settle; you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your being. Rumi Well 2016 has definitely been a turbulent year. I am sitting contemplating how so few words can have so much energy behind them! This global uncertainty is affecting us in many ways; every single client I have seen this past week has held shock in their bodies and have taken more time to settle into stillness.
Yes, there is a storm raging out there. Yes, it more than likely will get worse. No, we do not have to always be at the effect of it. We have a choice as to how we react to things. The question is what informs this choice? Primarily, it is our upbringing and the stories we hear and become attached to. What we often forget is that the filters we view the world through are not necessarily real and that it is very possible to change how we perceive, and thus react to, something. Making space between an event and our reaction gives us time to really be with our authentic response, not our automatic response. This is where breathe comes in. This is where presence comes in. This is what stillness offers us. It resonates with the deepest parts of us. It allows us to see the bigger picture, to feel the connectedness of all things and to pause and reflect. Most of us feel we don't have the luxury of time to access stillness. There's a huge list of jobs to do and we rush from one thing to the next. The only stillness we generally know is the unconscious type (generally called sleep!). Most of us do not realise the importance of stillness. When we come back from holiday, we usually feel revitalised and think it's purely because we haven't had to work. But the primary reason is that we've experienced stillness and been with the elements of nature - the ocean, the mountains, the forests- which nourish us at a core level. What I know now and wish I knew when I was rushing around in the corporate world in my 20s and 30s is that time is not the enemy. Just 10 minutes of stillness and presence a day frees up more time than it takes! Ironic, really. But knowing stillness does not seem to come naturally anymore to us as a race; it is like we have become so disassociated from our bodies we've forgotten some fundamentals. So what can you do if you are feeling called to stillness but cannot access it? Mindfulness training is becoming trendy, which is great, so you could join a class. You could also try a craniosacral therapy session as stillness is at the heart of that. Or you could simply sit in a quiet place and simply be with your breath, noticing how your body expands with each in breath and how it changes with each exhalation. Keeping your awareness within your body and noticing how different parts of you feel is key to accessing stillness. I urge you to give it a go and notice what changes happen - both emotionally and physiologically. |
May you walk in Beauty
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Copyright of Ri Ferrier 2024
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